When approaching dating most of us think about going out to a bar for a drink or two and maybe awkward conversation with a potential partner. I’m not knocking the bar date BUT I do think there is a much more conscious way to set up meeting someone new and thus set you up for feeling more empowered through the dating process. The dates I’ve suggested below are all activity based and focus on slowly finding emotional intimacy with the other person through sharing and creating together. Having an activity to do together will allow you to open up easier because neither will have the pressure of keeping the conversation flowing/funny because there is a shared thing to focus your attention on. Also, not including alcohol in these dates is intentional. Sans alcohol we all have clearer heads to spot red flags, can hold our boundaries easier and can show up more authentically. This will allow you to feel empowered as you move forward because you can be clear this person is a good match for you or not! I always recommend my clients leave alcohol out for the first three dates and then if all signs are a go still, add it in as you move forward. However, always listen to your gut and go with what works best for you. Here are a few suggestions on how to take dating to a more conscious level.
WALK THIS WAY
When to have this date: First date
Supplies: Just you, good walking shoes, layers if it’s chilly
Date: For a first date, I suggest keeping the stakes REAL low and going for a walk in a park. Here’s the thing, there are a ton of escape routes if you two aren’t vibing and you can quickly exit stage left if needed. And walking side by side with a stranger keeps the pressure low in conversation as you aren’t just looking at each other the entire time. The planning is also easy: suggest your favorite park or theirs, pick a place to meet inside or outside of it, and a time. Do a lap or two and if the conversation is flowing (and it’s warm enough) sit on a bench inside the park and keep chatting. The fresh air and physical exercise will help both you keep clear heads and moods lifted.
DRAW ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS
When to have this date: This is date 2 + It can be really fun when you’ve broken the ice with someone on the first date to do a fun activity that’s still relatively low key on the second date. You want to continue the conversation, but keep allow the mood to stay light and fun.
Supplies: Sketch book, pencils, color pencils, pens, Lion's Mane Travel Ally to spike your coffee/tea for added creativity
Date: Suggest your favorite coffee shop that has tables to sit down and meet there. Order beverages of your choice and ask your date if they want you to spike their drink with a creativity supporter like Lion's Mane. Once drinks are settled, grab a table and break out the supplies. Tell your date that you two are going to create a picture together by each drawing one line and then the other drawing another line and repeat. Allow the picture to form as you work together connecting lines and creating new forms. This picture doesn’t have to be hung in an art museum so remember to let the perfectionist in both of you to take a back seat and have fun. This is a chance to be creative and create with a new person. Creating something low stakes, like a silly drawing, while getting to know someone will give you a glimpse into how the two of you can work together. It will tell you a lot about the other person, yourself and the two of you in unison. While you draw, let the conversation flow and if you both naturally drop into silence because you’re concentrating on drawing allow yourself to enjoy the intimacy of being in silence with another.
READ TO ME
When to have this date: This is a date 4 +. You want to know you already like the person, feel comfortable with them and want to keep moving forward.
Supplies: big blanket, candles (optional, but makes for romantic ambiance), pillows, feel-good tonic (recipe below) and both of your favorite books
Date: If it’s winter where you are, go to one or the others houses and set up in the living room if possible (if not because roommates, set up on the floor of the bedroom). If you’re in summer, head to your local park! If you have your date coming to your house, make up the potion. If heading to theirs or going out, make the potion and bring it a thermos to keep it warm. Lay out the blanket and set up the candles and arrange the pillows for maximum comfort. Invite your date to sit with you and whip out your books. Take turns reading from one of your books out loud or switch off reading from yours and then they reads from theirs aloud. When you get to an important point, character flaw, story development that feels relevant to you, stop and have a small discussion on the topic at hand. When the discussion ends, go back to reading the next passage aloud. Novels work well for this date as do poetry books. This is the world's smallest and most romantic book club. You’ll learn a lot about each other through reading each other's favorite literature AND there is something so intimate about hearing someone we like reading aloud.
FEEL-GOOD POTION
The perfect potion to sip while going for a stroll or enjoying time together outside of a bar with someone new.
Ingredients(serves 2)½ tsp. Ashwagandha 1 tsp. Mucuna Pruriens 2 tbsp. Tocos 1 tsp. Reishi 2 sachets of roasted dandelion tea Splash of nut milk of choice Optional: Drizzle of Bio Active Honey for sweetness |
MethodBrew tea based on instructions on the back of tea bag Pour tea, herbs, nut milk and Bio Active Honey in a high speed blender Blend on high until frothy Pour into mugs or thermos In joy! |
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
